Wednesday, March 23, 2011

With a light touch: 36 reasons why I love to be a man (And am not a chauvinist)

In the constant barrage of men by gender activists and feminists which is constantly making men to seem to apologize for being men, I come to think about being a man. I have come to realize that we men (without necessarily appearing as chauvinists or sexist) are very simple and uncluttered creatures which makes us a happy lot.
The following 36 reasons has made me realize why male readers of The Burning Splint need to be happy;
1.       Your last name will stay put even in marriage
2.       The garage is all yours and you’re the king there without interruptions
3.       Wedding plans often take care of themselves
4.       Chocolates is just another snack
5.       You can be the president
6.       You can never be pregnant
7.       You can wear a T-shit to a party and a swimming pool
8.       You can also wear  no T-shirt to a swimming pool
9.       Car mechanics tell you the truth
10.   The all world is your urinal
11.   You don’t have to drive all the way to another petrol station toilet because this ones are just too dirty
12.   Same work, more pay
13.   Wrinkles add character
14.   People never stare at your chest when you talk to them
15.   Occasional well rendered belch is practically expected
16.   New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet
17.   You have one mood all the time
18.   Phone conversations are over in 30 sec flat
19.   A 5 day vocation requires only one suitcase
20.   You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
21.   If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend
22.   Your underwear is Ksh 200 and they come in 5 pack
23.   Three pairs of shoes are more than enough
24.   You have strap problems in public
25.   You just never see wrinkles in your clothes
26.   Everything on your face stays in its original color
27.   The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades and cost only Ksh 20.
28.   You only have to shave your face and neck, and still have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache
29.   You can play with toys all your life
30.   Your belly usually hide and never pronounce your big thighs
31.   You only need one wallet and a pair of shoes
32.   You want only one color for all seasons
33.   You can wear shorts no matter why your legs look like
34.   A pocket knife is enough to ‘do’ your nails
35.   You can do Christmas shopping for 25 members of the family on December 24 in 25 m,inutes flat
36.   Lastly, you don’t freak out when you go to the party and see another man wearing the same shirt, instead you become buddies

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