Saturday, September 25, 2010

Being a better Role Model in six easy steps.

The way you carry yourself in life may make someone younger than you or a neighbor an admirer from a distance
At 50 something Wilkista Osii could not believe when she was called upon by her niece to help salvage her marriage on the rocks. Being a co-wife to fours women, barren and without any basic education in guidening and counseling,

Mrs. Osii was more than baffled. Speaking to her pastor for insight Wilkista said the couple choose her as a role model and insisted on her to make the journey from Migori to Homabay, in Kenya, a half a day journey away.

In a world obsessed with paying adulation to stereotyped role models in educated people, sports and entertainment showbiz stars, the question baffling many readers is why? Why is someone of low societal status like you be chosen as a role model?

While signing autographs in high school the point of who is your role model had endorsements of celebrities. There Bill Gates, Tupac Shakur, Oprah Winfrey, Nelson Mandela, Chinua Achebe and even Fidel Castro. You catch the drift. We were taken back when one choose his parents and our maverick math teacher Cornel Ger.

I have realized that choosing a role model cuts across the social-economic strata . The way you carry yourself in life may make someone younger than you or a neighbor an admirer from a distance.

You or someone you know might have been approached for a life altering decision like a course to take in college, a career path, a relationship decision or just to talk a problem over. Personally I know of a couple who have been approached to grace many wedding.

Bill Vossler in the book Winning notes; “you (as a role model) will set the ace for others who either want to be like you or just need a little bit of guidance, and best of all, you will be greatly rewarded in return: your own life will be filled with care, love, and friendship- and immeasurably rich” the following are guidelines to being a role model:

Be nice: This is the golden rule of relating with humanity for in St. Mathew Jesus Christ said “therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them.” The receptionist, waiter, conductor or your stubborn child is not faceless or worthless but a lesson to learn from. In worst moments like an argument if you hate being yelled at the definitely don’t yell at the other person.

Without necessarily losing your moral ground speak your point quietly and truthfully for being nice makes others respond to us on the same way. As a better role model you will reduce conflict and foster friendship.

Learn to compromise: No man can stand aloe, no man is an island and very few are peninsulas. Role models learn that with diverse interest, desires and ambitions we need to learn to share and reduce conflict.

Most Nobel peace laureates inspire us with lesson of compromise which kept one from extremism and over-righteousness, but foster understanding to keep relationships smooth by shielding jealousy and selfishness.
An instance is teaching children to compromise in sharing responsibilities and privileges in chores.

Be honest to yourself: Honesty shows. The idea of being alone or in a crowd should not act as a panacea of being dishonest. After a long run dishonesty shows. Because even if you are alone you will surely know what you did and the thought of someone finding out forces you to continue to lie to cover the previous lie.

It is very easy to detect dishonest people by the inconsistencies of their lies.

In life dishonest people get treated dishonestly. It will be hard to inspire your children to be chastity, to quit smoking and drinking if you drink and smoke.
Honest people, and role models, have a clean conscience and show others looking up at them the worth in doing a difficult task like living a drug free life because they are aren’t self centered.

Getting focused and goal oriented: During decision making we often get tempted in making impulses which lead to regrets. With people looking up at us responsibility comes with power which makes and breaks life. Being focused with attainable goals reduces pressure to rush decisions.

In earlier example, we had seriously flopped a mathematics test, our teacher Mr. Cornel Ger advised us to stay focused and gave each student attainable goal according to ones ability. That for an authoritative figure helped erase dissolution and gave a ray of hope in what we saw as failure.

Smile: “This world is like a mirror reflecting on what you do, if you face it smiling it will smile back to you, so you will have many many years much longer” the late Joseph Hill of reggae group mighty culture signs.

It doesn’t necessarily means smiling endlessly, but nothing captivates another person without depriving the giver like a smile. A smile means a good spirit which makes you and others happy.

Having a value system: Lastly, set of values project an image of a role model to emulate in obtaining goals. In walking in life vast with temptations, a value system offers a solid sense of principle in chatting the way forward.

Values are set with benchmark in believes of Bible, Koran or Gita and even philosophy forming a system guideline. Example of philosophy is businessman Richard Branson with a buccaneering attitude in business ventures.

Syndicated online at Socyberty

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