Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Assassination of Kenya Prime Minister Raila Odinga? give me a Break!!!

Come Saturday, Valentine’s Day my mood was sky high. I was feeling good. I had managed to secure a paltry 40 bob for the newspaper to avoid the queue at Berna’s barber shop.

I could’ve bought the newspaper were it not for the headline which fouled my mood and my Valentine day. Somebody (obviously not named) wanted to kill your premiership the only one ushered in the grand coalition, or something of that sort signed into being on 28th February last year.

Through a telephone interview the ministry of defence said it was in high alert. Some cloudy source said all police stations in the capital were in alert to protect a guy with 700million office and security detail.

I give it to our police; their strict vigilance could not locate youngmen lost in the doodle of police records. At least the premier of the grand coalition government was safe.

I left the newspaper stand, least said without a paper. I thought of Kahawa ya Jamii to uplift my mood. Solace never followed, all around bar men animatedly of how Baba Castro, his premiership of cause, escaped many death threats. Facts and dates flared as inept speakers, most willing to hear themselves talk dumpen my spirit further.

Yet again somebody is trying to kill Raila Odinga. Yet again the incident is all news worthy. Yet again most people don’t grasp the politics behind the scheme.

Yet again.

Yet again I felt retched by the all idea.

The Machiavellian tactic of deflecting attention I terribly need a break. Jesus, somebody wants to kill Raila Odinga, again. At this time when Raila terribly needs to save his face.

The grand coalition is in a cess pit. A man made famine is killing Kenyans Raila and agriculture minister William Ruto cant place where the missing sacks are. His son Fidel Castro is implicated in illegal selling oil bringing a shortage in the country.

To add pepper on sour wound the motion to start a local tribunal, a basis of formation of the grand coalition was terribly flawed. Raila and Kibaki misguided thinking it was still the Nyayo error when powerful politicians in parliament could sway voting outcome.

The question many saw and overlooked including political pundits was the involvement of Francis Muthaura who wrote letters to government Mps to rally behind the motion. Why did Raila let Muthaura carry out his duties?
With Raila’s face covered in mud a deflection is terribly needed. Nothing fits better roger this:

Once when the orange fruit was whole and many many tribal chiefs wanted a bite there was a man called Raila Amollo Odinga, a slip of pen please, the honorable of course. These tribal chiefs appointed themselves the speakers of their tribes. The tribal chiefs claimed of their undying interest to their hearts and marrow of their bones.

Their interest was further promised in their untaxed salaries and exclusive members only clubs where they hibernate till elections. These tribal chief shunned tribalism in rallies attended by their tribes. All Kenyans were to be united, so they said. Before and after the post-election.

Confusing, amid the unity the orange, ODM was later split. One took a K after the name and their symbols changed. But my readers need not worry about them for they are all under one roof; grand coalition and they purpose to be united (phew!)

The otiose tribal chiefs; Musalia Mudavadi, Uhuru Kenyatta, Kalonzo Musyoka, William Ruto, Najib Balala, Rajput Umar, Julia Ojiambo, Nyaga and Raila could not solve the conflict by simple arithmetic. Simply they could have stated what to do with the orange. Make juice or eat it raw. Plant the seeds or use the peels to make cake. Many more uses.

Sell it or bury the certificate in a backyard. Anything.

The politicians and their secretariats could not solve this bigger crisis than who won the 07 elections

Odinga, no Hon. please for a pen may luck ink but its still a pen, had these very brilliant idea. The representative of cosmopolitan Langata constituency, alleged to represent a tribe from Nyanza which wont be named for tribal reasons proposed a nontribal meeting far away from tribal forces. England.

Very brilliant, on a dimmer glare though the other tribal leaders never saw the ray. But Raila saw clearly past 2007 through vision 2030 and went alone. The move augured negatively, the orange started losing taste. Some bigots developed a taste for other fruits and a hummer, a tool.

In addition the Steadman polls looked grim on baba Castro. Nagging questions of whether pastor Deya financed the trip soared. Political pundits without tribal twist savored the moment with miracle baby and human trafficking saga thrown in.

On return, journalists wanted to asked questions about the trip. Interestingly instead they fell pen on paper for an automobile, Hummer.

Before you could say oil scandal the vehicle was christened Umvee and H something. ‘Celebrities’ placed orders.

Rating for radio shows were gauged from competitions for free hummer rides. Columnist with dead-resurrected skills on motoring gave the hummer features and placed the amount at whopping 45million.

The all country including opinion leaders were swayed. But dissents never cease. I found someone not in the bandwagon. Katiambo D. a media scholar at Maseno University teaching media content and political communication summed the haze thus:

“the whole country was swayed. One man, a politician, determined the editorial content of the mass media. The content of the mass media was controlled by a shrewd politician and his piece of automobile.”

Craftily important questions were deflected and free advertisement achieved because for every article on hummer Odinga’s name featured.

Come the Arturs, exit journalist. Machiavellian tactic of knowing your enemy moves and weaknesses and when to strike was employed by Raila on artur brothers’ saga.

Although Kenyans have a short memory like forgetting about corrupt deals, some don’t forget easily. A strong fish they say swim against the current. These Kenyans read between lines and airwaves to know a gimmick.

Quickest way to make an item newsworthy is by shrouding it with mystery. Nothing sells faster in news like unnamed sources closer to an item giving tit bits. They call it exclusivity (phew!)

The brothers were sensationally called mercenaries. The culmination was the raid of standard by ‘some hooded pale skin guys with funny accents’
The political engineer got a perfect chance.

With the uncanny ability to hold five mikes while entertaining a crowd the media was shelved away in media freedom mantra. Wonder where ODM was when the controversial media bill was passed.

The idea that the Arturs wanted to assassinate him gave Raila a free advertisement as the government was literary got pants down. After the dust settled Raila flatly refused to appear before a commission of inquiry.
During the news frenzy in the hall where I was watching only two people grasp the impact. The Arturs were stale when they left the country and Raila was tired of the joy ride.

The first person was I, the second was Raila Odinga.

With a pinch of salt
Yet again, when unnamed sources claim assassination of Raila I retch. May the prime minster look somewhere for a scapegoat.

The maize stolen from government silos should be accounted for. The triton saga solved.

The speed to which police responded to the saga should be reflected in search of youths lost in police dungeons.

Ati somebody wants to kill Raila? With hunger and oil shortage who gives a hoot!!!!!!!

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