Thursday, August 27, 2009

Dilemma; The Pressure for Premarital Sex

 (An article for Nuru cartoon column, in response to the dilemma of issue 33 of Supa Strikers on 22nd November 2005)

Firstly I’d like to congratulate the girl fir the action she has taken. It is good she didn’t have sex with his boyfriend and secondly, for choosing a reliable source to share her predicament.

I’d like to note that most girls are nowadays falling on the same trap.

Symbolically a girl is like a fruit on a big tree. Some are on the low laying branches while the rotten and the half eaten fruits are on the ground.

Only lazy boyfriends go for these girls for short-lived untrue love and easy sex. Meanwhile the golden fruits on top of the tree are always the hardest to get because many boys fear the risk of falling and breaking their bones.

Such girls always wait for reliable and enduring boy(couple) who knows the value of true love waits thus having sex at the correct time: when married. I may advise the girl to be the golden fruit.

If I may refer to the bible about such love, Amnon was deeply infatuated by his lovely sister Tamar (2 Samuel 13:1-32). Such a union was not possible.

Amnon was so vexed that he laid a trap to rape Tamar after being advised by his subtle cousin Jonadab. Ironically after the ordeal Amnon hated Tamar more than she loved her!

That is exactly what happens about boyfriends who insist on premarital sex; soon after they have got what they want they will treat the girls like things left behind in a deserted homestead.

Sex is not a receipt of love. Sex, too, is not an opiate for love.

This is a true statement! During my high school years boys had girlfriends in almost all girl schools in the district. They used to threaten girls for sex to proof their love to them.

After sex during the holidays the relationship will usually break up with the girls receiving cold-booting letters and being laughed at for being cheap prostitutes.

This paves the way for other girls who will be acquired during the interschool activities for the following holiday.

In school general knowledge will be great in schoolwork but self-knowledge is best for survival during such period because first love is always overcome by the second sight.

I also think that by having enlightened friends always help in such a dilemma. If I may refer you back to my bible quotation, When Absalom (Tamar’s brother) revenged by killing Amnon and King David thinks that all his sons are dead, Jonadab (the subtle advisor) tells King David that its only Amnon who is dead.

On the same line, in most cases friends who advise girls on premarital sex know about the other side of the coin.

When the girl will be infected by sexually transmitted infection; gets pregnant and her studies terminated they will be the ones babbling, howling and spreading the message with a let-me-tell-you tone.

Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors. It is only the rough time in relationship that you know about the real intention of your boyfriend. “He won’t tell everyone that I’m is chick” fear shows clearly that the outside force and not the inside define the relationship.

This shows that what the girl will have to say will not work because the boyfriend will listen to the outsiders.

If you drive your car up the mountains, you are not going to cruise to the edge of the cliff to see how close you can park without actually plunging over it. No! Common sense tells you to stay as far from the edge as possible.

You should tell the boyfriend about the value of “true love waits” but if he still sticks on his guns then the girl (Boy) should quit because she may get infected with H.I.V/AIDS, be pregnant and her studies terminated.

This may seem to be tough but the next time she is “on the edge” of the premarital sex cliff; she should look down, she will see some of her friends down there who didn’t think they would fall either but they did.

My late grandfather, a fisherman, once told me: Only the strong fish swims against the current. With all this pressure on premarital sex affecting youths we should always be strong.

But if we might have almost fallen then it is much easier to be wise about the mistakes we made yesterday than the ones we are in process of making.